Until the last syllable recorded

I belong to G half-sharp, a place between G and G#. It came to my mind when I happened to watch 'In the bleak of midwinter' arranged by Jacob Collier on Youtube. For 18 years, I thought that there were only 12 keys in a musical scale - C to B. However, Jacob was using a note that wasn't belong to the traditional 12 keys, a G half-sharp. It was a big stroke to me because, at that time, I felt that I didn't belong anywhere, and it was so similar to G half-sharp. I liked STEM subjects but also liked humanities too, not being extraordinary in one side. Since I was in middle school, I kept considering what I should major in university, and it was so hard because I couldn't even choose a side, a STEM, or humanity. I could finally find an answer to that from Jacob. I was not being to one side. I don't have to - I can just stay in the middle, not G or not G#, but G half-sharp. I felt that I was connected to Kenneth Cho, a guy that is in my Facebook profile wh...

"Bip - " It was my tenth time to hear my robot breaking away from the same place of a map. I was exhausted because that code was to be the last possibility that should have made the robot to evade the obstacle it couldn't pass for the last 3 hours. I couldn't think of any other code to try. I felt like what Captain America would have felt if Dr. Strange's the only way to save earth from Thanos was actually wrong. Maybe today was just an unlucky day. Feeling so frustrated, I packed my stuff and headed to the subway boarding home. Subway was my favorite place to refresh myself and come up with original ideas. Ever since I was an elementary school student, I took the subway to go to school and to come back home. On those daily excursions of about 30 minutes, I enjoyed contemplation that no one could interrupt. On the train, apathy was the only sharing of passengers, and in that indifference, I could separate my feelings and rationally think about the problems ...

1. I don't like riding a car. There were some moments I felt that I was close to my death when I was in the car. Actually, my fear is toward transportation itself. I feel fear to take an airplane or a train. I firmly think that the only safe transportation is my foot. 2. I've played the cello since I was in the first grade of elementary school. These days, I am practicing jazz piano, especially pieces from Bill Evans. 3. I'm having hardship on talking with girls and teachers. 4. I started web programming since the COVID-19 quarantine. I am trying to launch a chrome extension based social media named Ahoy, with Jaewon and Seonghun. It will grow to a 1B dollar company, and Google will buy it. 'Ahoy!' just came out to the web store, and you can download in  https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ahoy/ahepineneaniaknbpemfghfamobkhpkn?hl=ko 5. I really love to eat ramen that I can only eat ramen for a month. However, I couldn't eat ramen from Cambodia beca...

Main Question: A dream? D on't you want to be a star ? I always wanted the life full of attention and applaud , just like Beyonce or Justin Bieber. People watched them on TV and listened to their music, making some replies and reactions. But most importantly, celebrities could give influences to the public. They could change the world. Compared to them, I was just nothing. Nobody except my family or friends recognized me. If this happens until I die, maybe I would be no more historically important then random dust. Just like other stars, I dreamed of influencing the world. I dreamed of changing the world. I dreamed to be a star. To do that, initially, I needed fans . A nd w ho could be my fan ? I didn't have a big studio with nice instruments that can produce a billboard chart music. From the perspective of producing music, what I could do was recording me playing cello in the orchestra with the shoddy phone recorder. I thought I wouldn't gain any kind of popularit...

     I remember the warm winds when I played soccer at the playground when I was in elementary school. I remember the shouting after I magically scored in the recess time of middle school. I remember the laughter of the friends who played soccer with me in front of the dormitory. I remember I was happy.      What is the difference between a pro player and an amateur? You said it was a performance, but actually, it isn't. Pros are the luckiest people. You said you could be a lucky guy, but you were too late. Look at your body. You should have more muscles and a higher height. Your frustration isn't only yours, but its the feeling of every child who wanted to be a soccer player. You smile anytime you play soccer, but that doesn't mean that you can't smile when you do something else.      I gave up being a soccer player because it was too hard. Maybe I could chase that dream if I were an English boy who lives in Manchester. Maybe I could cha...

Dear FutureMe, Hi, I'm Seong-Jun of November 14th, 2019. Today is Korean SAT day, so I came out in the morning and cheered for domestic seniors. After some weeks, they will get out of the dormitory. Seniors have only a few left days in KMLA, and you would also be in this situation when you read this letter. How is it feel like? Are you satisfied with your achievement in KMLA? I did similar speculation after the end of the first year in here, mostly regretting not achieving anything. I was full of idealistic thoughts, like studying vector calculus, Python, deep learning, Oxtoby chemistry, etc. However, I spend most of the time procrastinating on Youtube and Facebook. I wasn't a better person than me of 2017. The year 2018 passed like that, and now it's bounding to the end of 2019. I am somewhat improved, but still, have to do more. Now I can see the intention and significance of literary devices, and read sonnets. You will read at the end of 2020. What is your prog...

     In the post 'Being a Leader', I said I will set up a goal that brings a positive effect something like '30 push-ups every day', and it should be done every day. Therefore, I set up one goal, which is 'do abdominal exercise every day. From 10 / 28 Monday, I kept it for a week, and next week, 11 / 8,  I added plank exercise, squat exercise, and 20 push-ups per day. Surprisingly, I did all of that! It was not very hard, but it was not easy. Every day my muscles were sore, but I felt my body getting better. It was a happy pain.      However, there were some goals that I couldn't keep even for a day. It was studying for 2 hours and read a book for 30 minutes per day. I was regretful and shameful. It was lucky that I had no tests or quiz that week. If it wasn't, I would have been in big trouble. Maybe it was because of the exercise. I didn't exercise every day before, so the sudden increase in exercise amount might be the factor of my sleepiness and ...

     I wanted to be an ideal leader. I was captain of the volunteering club, sonnet club, and flag football club last semester, but I wasn't a good leader, not even a median, but actually the bad one. I analyzed why I failed on it, and there were several reasons: lack of ability and lack of motivation.      And I'm still. I found that I could not perform not only a leader's role but also a student's role - studying. I was lethargic, and my will to improve the situation was strong, but the will to practice was extremely weak.      I recalled my memory when I was at the auditorium for 20 penalty point special training. At education, I learned how strong a habit is and how to make a habit. Now is the time that habit is really needed. Therefore, I will do the same thing that I learned in the special training and I start it by today.  

     It was last Saturday, after a 12-hour-trip in Hongdae including cooking, shopping, and so many other things. The time was 10:30 PM in a subway bounded to home, and I had to stay at the subway for one hour and thirty minutes more. I was extremely exhausted and my knee disease had started an hour ago. I was barely standing at the subway.      I was standing in front of the priority seat, that has been empty for the last thirty minutes. For the first fifteen minutes, I did not think of sitting on it because it was culturally tabooed even it was legal to sit on if it is empty. However, the painful situation made me think of the legitimacy of sitting there. I once had a debate with the motion 'Is it okay to sit on the priority seat' when I was a child. I was at the okay side, arguing for the conditional responsibility which means I had a duty to give up my seat only when there is elderly in transportation.      I soon realized that I had...

It's early Thursday morning, but your mother's busy footsteps wake you up. You wake up and with half-opened eyes and wear some neat clothes. Soon, the family gets into the car, then you close your eyes, leaning on the shoulder of your brother, sleeping as well. After a few bumping sounds, now you are in your grandmother's house. You meet your grandmother and hug each other. Relatives are sitting on the sofa, and you hug them too. You want to play with nephews, but it is better to save it and get sleep early because you have to be prepared for some exhausting events scheduled tomorrow.  Your family will do two things tomorrow: grave cleaning and ritual ceremony - jesa. You have to visit your ancestor's grave and cut some long grass to make it an oval-shaped dome. After a long trip to somewhere inside a mountain, you arrive at your ancestor's grave. Now your work - grave gardening - starts, it's a lot of work indeed. Even after you finished it, you can't ...

Spanish Quiz, AP English Essay, AP English Quiz, and all not started yet. Now, it's 1 AM. 6 hours left. I'll reveal the result in the afternoon... . . . . . . No good results...TT

     I kicked out two chances to do work that I love and also earn some money, a soccer player and a musician. I loved these jobs, but I was too late. By kicking out those dreams I learned the importance of the surrounded environment of childhood. If my parents brought me to the youth soccer academy or if my parents were a music producer, what would be the thing I do today, or, what if I can go back to 9 years old? Other than the broken dream, I did many stupid mistakes, or regrets that I should have done this before. However, I'm not saying here that I really regret it. I should not. In Sound and Fury , Quentin's father gives him a watch for a reason. That is, don't be obsessed with time and forget the past. It's hard to forget the fault that made my present worse, but I found how to solve my problem of an obsession on past. It is to raise my children, doing my best.      I can't go back to 9 years ago, but my children can be 9 years old. I once lived a...

In the bleak midwinter - Jacob Collier      I once had a dream of a musician, specifically a jazz musician. I always imagined the form of music that I wanted to create and thought no one in the world would think the same as me. However, I happened to find this guy, a young talented musician who was creating music of the exact one I was secretly preparing. I was a total shock. That was my music.      He had everything that musicians needed. Awesome voice, video editing skills, a perfect pitch that can sense a cent wrong, freely playing instruments including almost everything, creativity, and mostly, perfect understanding of usage in chords. I was so jealous of him that he had everything at the age of 22, for example, a Grammy award,  while I achieved nothing. I researched him, and I found that his family was a musical family. His mother - a conductor in the London Philharmonic Orchestra - taught everything on music and soon young Jacob started a...

Anna Fedorova's play of Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No.2      I started to listen to music since I learned to play the cello. I learned to play the piano at the same time, and the first music I downloaded was classical music. I listened to classics from Bach to Rachmaninoff, and I especially liked pieces like Rachmaninoff piano concerto No. 2 or Dvorak Symphony no. 9. I was a classic man for like 10 years. I could feel the deep sensation through many pieces and thought the classics have so many things to study.       I began to listen to POP, rap, or ballad music when I went to middle school. It was a whole new spectrum of music, and also appealing as classical music. However, I thought that these kinds of music did not have depth on themself, and not academically valuable. All songs were sharing the same theme or chord, and it was boring. I even thought them not as artists. So-called producers are making music effortlessly, while classic ...

Napoli Fans shouting out Gonzalo Higuain After he scores a goal. It gives me extreme excitement of Adrenaline, and reason to be a soccer player.      Half of my middle school life was playing soccer. Every recess time, lunchtime, and time after school is done, I played soccer every day. After I got home, I watched youtube channels about soccer. My primary interests at that time were developing new dribble skills, studying tactics, and practicing technics. Soccer was why I go to school. I really admired soccer players like Messi, Ozil, Di Maria, Modric, Higuain, and so many other players. I wanted to score a goal in front of 50,000 people shouting my name, have a 100M annual income, and be an idol of worldwide children. But above all, the best reason was that playing soccer was always happy.      My friend wondered when did I study to go to KMLA because I did not spend a lot of time to study, but played soccer every day with them. I could make it ...

     From 6 PM to 5 AM, every time in KMLA has its own characteristics. 6 PM is a time for dinner, 7 PM to 9 PM is for study and also for the 10 PM to 12 PM. The characters of these times are obvious, but the times after 12 PM has a special and unique feature. Were it not been for the two years spent in here, you would have not realized them. This discovery is based on your own experience, but it seems to be true for the other members of KMLA, too. 12 PM to 1 AM: The time of relaxation       This one hour really passes quickly. After an exhausting four hours of studying, your mental just loses its tension and eager to have a rest. You usually watch Facebook, spend time on Youtube, or talk with my roommates. Time flies faster than a bullet, and you suddenly notice that the time is 1 AM now. 1 AM to 2 AM: The time of realizing reality      Now you realize that you wasted again your precious one hour to finish the homework, but still re...

It's early Thursday morning, but your mother's busy footsteps wake you up. You wake up and with the half-opened eyes, you wear some neat clothes. Soon the family gets into the car, then you close your eyes, leaning on the shoulder of your brother, sleeping as well. After a few bumping sounds heard, now you are in your grandmother's house. You meet your grandmother and hug each other. Relatives are sitting on the sofa, and you hug them too. You want to play with nephews, but it is better to save it and get into sleep early because you have to be prepared for some exhausting events scheduled tomorrow. It is how the traditional Chuseok would look like. However, my family's Chuseok has never looked like that before. It's not exhausting, but rather relieving, relaxing, and restful. On a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of exhaust, I'd rate my Chuseok a 0. Literally, there's no work to do on Chuseok in my family. We don't have any duty, but we perfectly k...

     My resolution is now concrete. I will perfectly prepare October ACT and get 36, also prepared for mid-term. I will get the Young-Jae Scholarship My firm resolution requires me to do so, and I leave it here, to promise in public.

     This is the image of Haeundae beach, taken from the left side, heading to the right side where the Westin Chosun Hotel is. I could not stop surprising because that is the place where I used to visit for almost 15 years since I lived in Busan. The Hotel was built in 1978, therefore, at least 30 years are passed from this picture is taken, and that brought me the point to write this post.      What I really surprised was that it really didn't change. It is just the same scene when we go there. Of course, clothes and some details are changed, but the atmosphere is the same. 30 years were gone but the way people enjoy the beach did not change. Humans didn't change, and I then reached to the point that humans are the thing that even time cannot change. Every human, old generation or new, is the same, in front of the beach. Individuals can change, but to think of a group of people, they tend to seem like same human group. Maybe that's because of the ins...

     Everything comes suddenly, and especially luck does. It is from the book named "Laws of Serendipity", and I was always expecting the moment that luck would suddenly come to me.      It came to me, exactly speaking, us, all a sudden. On the bus going back home, we, the Ongdalsam members were talking about how can we solve the social problems. It was just after the annual volunteering to Cambodia, and we all were full of enthusiasm. We talked about lack of shoes, lack of safe water, and reached to social minority problem. Then the idea suddenly came. Someone said, "How about a lecture platform that lecturer is social minorities, and they give a lecture in school, government, and everywhere they needed?" I thought that was a really great idea, and we started to develop. A few weeks later, the idea was organized, and we thought that this is so good that we decided to make this social-cooperative business as a real-We decided to become entrepreneurs. ...